Argh ...

Played in the MCOBA Masters last saturday. Playing with 18 handicap which I think is a bit hard for me to carry knowing my performance lately is not that consistent. Well better than Maybank tournament where I'm registered at 16. It was hot and tough. Manage to get most of the shots correctly but I still need to work on the chipping. Posted 97 at the end of the tournament, which is way better than my last game. Have another tournament next week. Hopefully I will be playing better. Came back at about 5pm. Was so tired.

Sunday was rather mundane. Did the laundry, grocery shopping and cleaned the house, a bit. Other than that, nuthing happened.

Least you can do

I was lying awake last night, waiting for your call
But if the rumours are true, that won't bother you at all
I'm trying hard to understand
What it takes to be your man
Now I don't have to wonder anymore

Least you can do is say you're sorry
Least you can do is give me back my heart
Just give me back my heart

Seems living in hope was wrong those years I was away
Thinking your letters, I never received, had gone astray
You said you'd always be there for me
Like a fool I thought you'd be
Now I don't know what I was thinking at all

But the least you can do is say you're sorry girl
Least you can do is give me back my heart
I won't come around no more
You won't find me standing outside your door
Least you can do is tell me why, tell me why

The least you can do is say you're sorry girl
Least you can do is give me back my heart
I won't come around no more
You won't find me standing outside your door
But the least you can do is tell me why

I won't be your fool anymore
There's no need to be cruel anymore, no, no no no no no
Least you can do is say you're sorry girl
The least you can do is give me back my heart
Just give me back my heart
Least you can do is say you're sorry girl
Say you're sorry, it's all you need to do
The least you can do is give me back my heart
So I can move on with my life
Least you can do is say you're sorry girl
Is that so much to ask
The least you can do is give me back my heart
Give me back my heart
Give me back my heart

Tiredness

Its been a while. It really has and rite now my body is aching, my head is aching and my heart is broken. Never felt this tired. Never tot one can feel this tired. I wish i can put an end to all these.

The pieces dont fit here anymore

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Well I can't explain why it's not enough, Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
Its the better thing to do,
Its time to surrender,
Its been too long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, Pieces don't fit here anymore.

You pulled me under,
I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
Thats breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage thats done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

Ooh don't misunderstand,
How I feel.
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried.
But still I don't know why, no I don't know why.
I don't know why...... whyyyyyyyy!

Thinking

I think I've reached a point where I need to decide on the current situation. I have been patience enough for the last few years, especially the last few months. I've lost faith. The feelings are no longer the same. Now it has become a burden to me, not pleasure anymore. I do wonder how such a strong feeling can become like that but I guess no point to ponder upon it anymore. The cold hard fact is that things had changed. You started it. I tried to be patience for the past 8 months but guess I cant take it anymore.

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a **** about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
So this is goodbye

Yeap, as for now I dont have the reason and you just dont have the time. And yes I'm losing faith in you. Whether it will make any difference if I do try to save this relationship or not, I guess only you can tell.

32 Months after ..

Well it has been 32 months since the day. Ive gone tru a lot, happy times, trying times and also times when I feel like giving up but somehow I persevere. Lately it has been very trying for me. Up to a point where I wonder should I? Why must I? Its hard, really hard and really tough.

Things started to change after the appointment. Things changed drastically. Appearance, conducts, behaviors, you name it, everything changed. I tried to talk about it but somehow the message didnt get tru. I always got blamed in the end. Not being understanding, pushy and so on. But I was always there when Im needed. You are not tho. You never were.

At times

I think my blood preassure went up this morning and it is still affecting me till now. I need to go away and recover myself.

I need to think more about myself, less about other people. So said some of my friends. Is that true? I have no idea.

Sebekas Cinta Yang Sirna

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